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Enjoy a great quote to start off this fantastic week!

“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.” T.E. Lawrence

OK, so now that you know that, what does that mean to become one of the “dreamers of the day” that Lawrence talks about? Why can dreams help you do more and be more than you ever thought possible? And how can you make your dreams more powerful parts of your life?

I’ll begin with the last question first, making dreams a more powerful part of your life. The first step in making dreams powerful is to go to bed thinking about that which you want to dream about. That means turn off the TV, and turn on something else that you want to dream about. If you want to dream about accomplishing more in your life, re-read your goals before you fall asleep. If you haven’t already written down your goals, take 10 minutes and write one down tonight before you go to sleep, and tomorrow night, another one, and the next night another one, until you have all the goals you want to achieve written down. You can go low-tech with a notebook or 3×5 index cards, or high tech and type them on your computer and print them off on full sheets of paper. It doesn’t much matter, just put those thigns down. One of my favorite authors, Napoleon Hill said it best when he said “Reduce your plan to writing… The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire.”

These dreams help you do more and be more than you ever thought possible because the more you think about something, consciously or unconsciously, the more you find ways to accomplish those thoughts. If your goal is to make $250,000 per year, and you write it down, and re-read it before bed, your mind will automatically find new ways for you to make more money than you ever thought possible.

Now to the best part: how to become a “dreamer of the day.” The first thing you should do to become a dreamer of the day is to set up a “dream room:” a room or place you can go to get away from it all and just think. Bring a notebook, and a pen, and maybe some music playing device. Some might want to bring a tape recorder so the thoughts are recorded as they are said. No matter, but make it a special place, and go there whenever you need to dream. Make it special, and you’ll make it great!

The next thing is to learn, always learn, more about whatever it is you’re passionate about, whatever it is you want to dream about. Go to the library and get all the books you can get about the topic, and read them. Take them to your dream room with you, and make notes on what you read, and use these to help clarify your goals.

Last, and possibly most important, is be persistent. You won’t be a great dreamer right away. It will take time, and that’s okay and in fact, that’s more than OK. That’s normal. As Mr. Hill says: “”The majority of men (and women) meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail.”

Phil Gerbyshak leads a team of people as manager of an IT Help Desk in Milwaukee, WI, and finds that sharing his knowledge is a crucial component for success as a leader and as a person. Phil’s personal philosophy is paraphrased from Tim Sanders’ fantastic book Love is the Killer App: “Share your knowledge, your network, and your love. The rest will follow.” Feel free to contact Phil at http://makeitgreat.org or call 414.640.7445 anytime.

Our physical brains quickly and easily handle mundane sequences of operations, or processes without question. It repeats processes like a machine: ABC…Z. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines the word process to mean “a series of actions, operations, or motions involved in the accomplishment of an end”. Heartbeat, breathing, and digestion are processes that occur without a single thought about what comes next. But, in many cases, our movement has become so consistent, that life itself becomes one of the mechanistic processes of the physical brain. Although, life is supposed to be dynamic, the brain only handles what it knows—what it has learned and what is sequenced.

Just as life is a process of the physical brain, so is the mind. We can touch, feel, or see a brain, but we can’t touch a mind because it is a sequence of operations that occur to accomplish one or more tasks. The mind is our dynamic structure that takes in information, pushes it through the rules of our belief systems and stored knowledge, and devises a solution. The brain has many processes that interact with each other. The brain’s mind process has two lesser processes of interest: an ability to analyze and another to react.

Where do we develop dynamic solutions if our brains are so rigid? First of all, when the brain encounters a sequence of events many times, it stores that information so that it knows how to automatically react and what to expect—a new process. It is a way that we handle those daily tasks that we know must be done and don’t have to think about it. Taking out the garbage, saying “hi” to our mates, and some tasks at work become so ingrained that they are processed quickly and easily without thought or emotion. Call it the physical body’s way of making our lives more efficient.

Is it really an efficient method? In some ways, yes. We can simply go through life without thinking and allow our physical brains to issue commands to ensure that tasks are completed. Going through life without thinking is the key point here! We can set our physical brain’s mechanisms in motion to process life and then phase-out to let it run its path. In general, a consistent and repetitive motion in life, without thought, is called a rut. This is where we run into trouble.

Is going through life without thought a positive move? It all depends on what you want out of life. We can let it ride or actively participate. It is in active participation that we begin to acquire dynamic solutions and processes in our physical brains. But, all dynamic processing and information occurs within an area known as the virtual mind. The thoughts and dynamic ideas in this mind are intercepted and processed by the physical mind and turned into new or altered mechanistic enhancements—call it retooling.

However, we have to be open to the new information and understand what it is before we can truly make beneficial use of it. Some of the unique ideas that are intercepted become colored by our own mind to fit within our experiences and belief systems through analytic overlay. Analytic overlay, taken from remote viewing, is the mixing of signals. It is our need to take incoming information and apply our own assumptions, views, and beliefs to make it fit within our realm. With this regard, it is our taking of information arriving externally, and modifying it to fit our understanding and systems. In this way we become more comfortable with new information; however, we tend to obscure information that could provide us with new and intriguing insight.

Virtual Mind

The virtual mind is the higher self. Some call it the subconscious, other the soul. It is that part of us that exists among and communicates with the other entities across the Universe. It allows us to move about freely from our physical realm, investigate new ideas, communicate with others, and acquire information that is seen as a flash of genius.

We have, as a society, grown to ignore the virtual mind. It has been overcome and overpowered by orthodoxy, which is the basis of the physical brain—standard processing of standard information. The orthodox methods limit us as the greatest amount of information is limited by the person with the least amount of knowledge. In this view, it is ourselves that is the person with the least knowledge because we are limiting our access to the vast amount of information available to us.

Many have come to accept the idea of the virtual mind in religious terms. That which is not physically understood is taken as a miracle or as an understanding of faith. However, to truly grasp and take hold of the realities of life, one must move from the elements of faith to that of knowledge. Knowledge of ourselves, the Universe around us, and the interaction gives us the power to understand and control our lives.

The Doomsday Device

Without the virtual self, left to its own recognizance, the physical brain creates its own dynamic structures. But, these structures are merely replications of what is already there. When one lives inside their own head they tend to generate their own ideas. Such generation is a downward spiral because the physical brain is focusing and processing itself. In this case, we end up poking holes in our own existence because the mind is seeking resolution and solutions for itself.

By creating its own structures, it defines resolutions that actually require problems or issues to create the cause for the effect or solution. As such, our brain tells us to go out and seek a problem to which it can apply its solution. This is, as grandma called it, idle hands. I believe it was idle hands are the devil’s playground.

In both of these cases, self-flatulation and the search for chaos, the physical brain is seeking information and issues for those solutions that it’s created within its own realm. This occurs when we cut off the information given to use by the virtual self. It literally creates a doomsday device, or a self-destructive situation, in which we cannot move forward, cannot move back, and simply exist in a situation of pure chaos.

What’s next?

Essentially, you need to hang a sign on your brain that states Authorized Personnel Only. We are not smart enough to go into a closed off brain and create something forward moving. The brain, alone and cut off, can create the most tumultuous chaos out of, literally, nothing at all. However, it is in our virtual mind that we can interact and grow to acquire the information we need to move forward in our lives.

The virtual mind is that part of us that gives us the power, knowledge, and ability to move forward in the physical life. The physical realm is never satisfied and is only bent on survival. It is the virtual mind, the soul that is easily fulfilled and is bent on life, love, and happiness. Let it come to the surface once in a while. Distract your conscious mind and let your brain have a piece of a souler vacation from time to time. Not only will it allow you to acquire the knowledge you seek, but it will also allow your virtual mind to help you resolve and move forward in your physical life.

I think that I recall John Milton, in Paradise Lost, saying “The mind is its own place and in itself can make a heaven of hell and hell of heaven”. Bravo!

Edward B. Toupin, Ph.D., is a published author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, and technical writer living in Las Vegas, NV. Edward works with people to help them strive for a richer life. He also authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics! Contact Edward at etoupin@toupin.com or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com .

It has always interested me that pschologists, and many other
great thinkers from all times state that we only use 10% of our
brains full potential. Now if you think about it this is a
frightening fact. Think about all the people on Earth today that
have hopes, dreams ,goals and victories that never get
fulfilled. And wonder if everybody operated to their full
potential would anybody live a life of uncertainty, poverty,
depression and all the other ills that make peoples everyday
life a struggle. Think about the 90% of untapped potential
within your own mind and imagine what you could give to the
world and to yourself if you were just to release a further 10%.
That would double your current production.

Now that in itself is a very powerfull thought. If we were to
some how find ways of gaining more of our brains potential power
what could you do with it? Ask yourselves the question, What in
your life would be different if your performance in all aspects
of your life were improved by twice the amount that it is now?

Many people who hear these statements think that there is
nothing we can do to utilize any more of our potential and that
we are just born with our restrictive 10%. Well that has to be
completely wrong! Its plainly obvious that different people
perform better or worse than others in all our various human
skills .

Its starting to become clear to me that that we are only limited
by ourselves, and the untouched part of our life does not have
to remain inactive . We can begin to use more of the God given
potential we have if we are willing to learn and utilize a few
home truths. Why are we the way we are? Has anybody asked
themselves this? I certainly hadn’t untill recently.

During each waking hour our actions and statements reflect the
way we feel about ourselves, this is whats known as our Self
Image. This is very important to the way we perform and if we
have a bad self image we are obviously not going to function to
our full potential.

Before I go any further I want you to understand that I am not
claiming to be a psychologist or an excellent personal
developement trainer, I am just interested in this subject and
have read many theories on how to combat the power of our self
evaluating image if negative. Have you ever really examined the
way you feel about yourself, why you feel that way, and would
you want to feel any different? Is it really that important?
Well, you could argue that it isnt if you are satisfied with
everything you do. But if you want to chage your life, actions,
acomplishments and future, learning about your self image is
vital.

As maturing individuals, we take our self-images and whether we
know it or not shape our whole lives around it, we become a
product of our own self evaluation. This happens because our
subconscious mind, the 90% we dont control ,accepts what our
conscious mind is telling it. Therefore creating the outcome
that we have already given to ourselves.

Now try to stay with me here! Because of this it is of enormous
benefit to us all that we can use our conscious mind to improve
our 90% of untapped potential just by mentally “seeing”
ourselves doing what we want to be doing. Now this isnt just
goal setting, we’ve all heard the self help experts bang on
about setting goals to achieve greater potential but in reality
thats just half of the equation.

What I have been trying to do lately is to revaluate my self
image in order for my sub conscious mind to act apon what my
self image is creating. With the hope that the outcome will be
unleashed potential that I’d only dreamed about before becoming
reality. I must say that it does not take much time to notice a
diferance especially in your overall well being. feeling good
about yourself can only help achieve much more.

Its obvious really isn’t it ! But I bet most of you out there
would benefit from the following Self-Evaluation exercise.

This is a generalisation that you can fit into any area of your
life whether it be personal, work related or other. I have
personally found it to benefit my home business life because the
success of that boils down to you alone, there is no-one to back
you up.

Ask yourself these questions:

1.If I could have any job or posotion, what would it be?

2.If I could live my life again, what changes would I make?

3.What has been my greatest achievement in life and what was it
that got me there?

4.What are my greatest strengths?

5. Are my weaknesses fixable, are they just an image I have
created?

6.What has been my greatest disapointment?

7.What will make me actually achieve more success?

8. What is my main goal or purpose at this time?

Answer these as honestly as you can , think about the answers
carefully and this will help you start using that untouched
potential. Results will come quickly if your self image is
improved.

I am going to leave you now on those thoughts, thanks for reading

Tom Rhodes

When a farmer plants a crop, *as long as the soil is fertile*,
he knows to *expect* a harvest in good time.

He knows to expect multiples of what he’s planted.

He knows to patiently nurture the soil, keeping it watered and
nourished while he waits to reap what he’s sown.

Notice that he doesn’t agitate over how soon his harvest shows
up. He knows it’s going to show up in good time, as long as the
environment remains conducive. He doesn’t worry about ‘if’ it’s
going to show up. He *knows* it will.

How does that apply to you?

Well let me ask you: have you ever felt discouraged because
things weren’t happening as fast as you’d like? Perhaps you’re
doing all the things you should: you’ve written your goals,
made plans that you’re following, faithfully affirming and
visualizing daily, practicing daily gratitude, etc.

Still nothing seems to be happening, and you’re starting to
wonder if you should quit. Perhaps you’re starting to wonder if
your goal was worth going for after all. You’ve probably told
yourself that the goal was too big for you anyway.

If this is you, listen: learn from the farmer. You don’t know
exactly when your harvest will manifest, but realize one thing:
the moment you put that goal on paper and started working towards
it, you set a chain of activity in motion - activity which will
end up as your goal becoming real.

Think about it. When a farmer plants a seed, he doesn’t see the
shoot the next day does he? Yet the moment that seed is in the
soil, the growth and manifestation process begins. Right at that
instant. This initial phase is invisible to us on the outside but
that doesn’t change the fact that it’s happening.

When you set a goal, and you’ve written it down and are focusing
on it, *know* that (as long as you satisfy the right conditions),
your desires will take on physical form in good time. The moment
you decide on something, the moment you think it, you set in
motion activities geared towards bringing that thought to form.

Your idea/desire/goal, is a ’seed’ from your conscious mind. Your
subconscious mind is the ’soil’ in which you plant this seed.
By natural law, the moment you plant a seed in soil, everything
necessary for that seed to bring forth multiple fruit starts
happening. That’s all soil knows to do - grow stuff.

Your subconscious mind works the same way: all it knows to do is
manifest stuff - it brings about the physical manifestation of any
thought you plant in it. Note that it doesn’t matter what you plant
in it (read: “it doesn’t matter what you ask for” or “it doesn’t
matter how big or small your goals are” - as long as you work in
harmony with Universal laws, they will become physically real).

This physical manifestation does *not* happen overnight, however.

That’s what I want you to remember: as long as you’re doing what
you know to do, and you’re staying focused on your desired outcome,
rest assured that at the appropriate time, your vision *will* be
made real.

That is what the law of Gestation (one of the Universal Laws) is
all about: it refers to the period between the planting of a seed
and the harvest/birth/end result.

According to this Law, there is a period of time that must elapse
before that thought will manifest in form. The length of that
time is dependent on the magnitude and intensity of the energy of
the thought.

When you understand this Law, you’ll find it easy to go about your
business with full faith, expectation and gratitude that your vision
is daily becoming real.

Think of a pregnant woman. Once fertilization happens, and she’s
conceived, even though it takes months for any evidence of all that
activity to become visible, you know that there’s a miracle taking
place the whole time. And if all goes well in that pregnancy, she
knows to expect a healthy baby at the end of 9 months (her gestation
period).

Your goals have gestation periods too.

Don’t give up prematurely. *Persist* in doing the right things, fully
*expecting* your desired result, and fully *grateful* for that result
being already present.

By law (as you work in obedience to Law), it has to happen. Your goals
and desires must manifest, for the Universal laws are precise.
They never fail.

So anytime you are tempted to get discouraged at the way things
are going, stop and remember the farmer (and the pregnant woman:).
Then get up and keep going forward until you reach your goal.

As your Coach, I can show you some neat tricks and techniques to
help you master this way of thinking such that you begin to attract
some amazing results into your life with minimal effort. If this
sounds like something you’d like to explore, send an email to
coach@successeminars.com and tell me what you’re looking to achieve.

Dr Kem Thompson is a Success Coach, Speaker, Author.
She can help *you* achieve better results at work, business,
play, spiritual or in your social life *with minimal effort*.
For resources you can use today to create a better life,
sign up for her FREE ezine (and get a thank-you gift)-
‘Days of Success’ at http://www.successeminars.com/

The demands of being a good person can sometimes mean sacrificing your own happiness.

You may have been raised to be a good boy or girl; encouraged to be a good worker, to
be a good parent; to be a good friend; to be a good citizen… And I’m not saying that this is wrong; what questioning the effects of this on our individual happiness and the impact on our country.

Are we becoming happier more fulfilled people by being “good” or are we just a group of people heading nowhere but where we’re told?

If we continue to be good workers, will this ever allow us to achieve our full potential as human beings? If we continue to be good-parents, protecting our children when it is safe to empower them, will they grow to be all they can be? If we continued to be good friends, by sheltering our companions from the truth, will they ever get the information that is vital to their well-being? And if we continue to be good citizens who go along with what were told and are happy to leave the issues in the hands of the ‘higher’ authorities will we ever live alongside one another, full of love and accepting of our differences?

What does “good” mean anyway? In the “good old days,” good literally meant, “good!” But today good often means “average” or “normal”: about half-way between everything and nothing - on the pivotal point between life and death… one thing miss judged and out of kilter and suddenly we’re on the wrong side of life.

“Good” is also often about fitting in with the set of parameters set up by the people we associate with. This often involves giving pre-programmed responses to requests or behaving in an expected way - like telling your children not to do something at your parents home when you would allow them to do it at home or staying behind an extra hour or two at work because of the targets set by the boss. But the issue goes deeper…

Being good, or average or normal, involves following the pack. Buying the food advertisers tell us is good for us, even when it is laced with sugar, salt and hydrogenated oils that we know are bad for us. Being normal involves taking drugs for minor illnesses when our bodies break down even when we know our body often takes longer to deal with the drugs side-effects than the initial symptoms. We believe what we are told in the press without bothering to question the validity of a statement and the motivation of the people telling us. Blindly we follow.

We call people strange and odd when they try to escape the pack. My son recently asked, ‘Why do we have to be weird?’ The question comes out of feeling different to others and for a moment it hit me with a tinge of sadness until I remembered why we are “weird”:

We’re weird because we follow our dreams. We’re weird because we eat well, exercise regularly, hardly get ill and research as much as we can about things that affect our lives.

I ask you this: which is weirder - following the pack of “good” even when it is killing you or doing what gives you life and hope?

Neil Millar, formally medically obese, caught up in the rat-race and suffering from depression would love to share his experiences with you in the hope they help you make your life better.

Go to his website now, sign-up for his free, fast-growing newsletter with Unstoppable Life, get a free e-book as a thank you for joining and discover other enlightening reading material.

http://www.neilmillar.net

One of the realities of being an artist is that we take risks with our art and often fail in the process. Sometimes things go wrong with the techniques we are using and sometimes we bring failure on ourselves. We imagine making a beautiful piece that will only take a few minutes, which we begin and it ends up taking weeks. Our studio has many projects in the half-finished stage. We had planned to finish that project right away, but it took more time and as we let time pass, the project takes even longer.

We started one project and jumped right in and cut all the glass for one third of a three panel window. It only took a couple of days. Then we got side tracked by another job with a more pressing deadline. We set the three panel project aside and worked on the new project. Then another project was ordered. It was a couple of months by the time we got back to the three panel project. We had to get it out of storage and clean off all the dust that had gathered on it. Then we started foiling it. There were a couple of pieces that needed to be fixed and we had to research what the colors were supposed to be because by that time, we’d forgotten a lot of the details of the window. We got the thing foiled and then soldered one side of the panel and ran out of time. We had to complete another project, so once again, the three panel project went back into storage. When we got back to it, it needed to be cleaned again, which used up valuable time. And something was happening to us mentally, since we had put off the project so long, we found it easy to put off again. We struggled with color choices, cleanliness issues and direction that “grain” should run through the window, all things that take care of themselves when we complete a window in a timely manner. Finally we just stayed on to the end and completed the panel. It was easy once we dedicated ourselves to the task.

When we started experimenting with hot glass and firing plates in our kiln, we struggled for a long time. We would fire a piece of glass for use on a plate and get bubbles in it and that would be a setback. We’d have to study to figure out what happened and then overcome the fear of failure enough to try another piece. Then we would fire a piece and it would be perfect except for the fact that it broke. Time after time, we experimented with temperatures and glass mixes. And with each failure, we learned more, but we had to fight to continue to try again and again.

Finally, there is the type of failure and disaster that comes in our art by just plain dumb luck, (bad luck). You’re just finishing a panel, nailing on the outer metal to a piece of glass and your hammer slips and breaks a piece of the panel. It’s really no big deal, but now you have to de-solder the piece of glass, cut a new one and solder it in, just to get back to where you were before the mistake happened. This type of accident happens occasionally and isn’t too hard to recover from. It’s the other mishaps that occur that are especially difficult to deal with. When a glass insulator or installer breaks a piece of glass for you, it’s tough to deal with, especially when you hand carried it to them, warned them of weaknesses and begged them to be careful. The worst accidental break is when you don’t tie down the load securely enough or someone trips on an install, or any number of accidents that end up with severe damage. You may just want to go to bed for a week and fins a nice comfortable job in a pillow factory.

So what do we do to fight against despair?

In the first place, determine that once you start a project, you’ll finish it right away. Plan ahead so you’ll be sure to have the time to complete the work in your schedule, then start the work and stay with it till it’s done. This will save so much time in the long run that it will become even easier to stay on schedule because you’ll be saving all that time doing steps over and over again.

Second, when you start learning a new technique or process, take a class. We could have saved ourselves a lot of time and failure by enrolling in a class with a qualified instructor and learning some of the pitfalls to avoid. Instead, we tried to learn by reading a book and doing it on our own.

Third, attack any problem head on. If you break a piece of glass, fix it immediately. If it breaks again, fix it again. Leaving it till later will only make it worse. And when the damage is really bad, try to assess which method you’ll use to repair the damage. Will you fix the broken pieces or rebuild the whole thing? We once spent a month and a half repairing a window, which only took two weeks to build in the first place. We would have been time and materials ahead to have just started over on that project, not to mention the fact that it meant we had to suffer five weeks with our mistake rather than two.

My students sometime tire from hearing me say that “the difference between an amateur and a professional is that a professional will fix their mistakes.” If that’s true, and I believe it is, a true professional will also fix their mistakes quickly.

You’ll still face disappointment, students will still not clean up after themselves, customers will buy things from the competition for more than you sell it for, you’ll still forget to fix solder drips on a window before delivering it, things will still break in shipment, and bad things will unexpectedly happen. But with your new attitude, you’ll almost look forward to setbacks so that you can hurry and remedy them as fast as you can. People will be amazed. They’ll say, “how can you just fix a broken piece like that, I would have been sad about that for a week before I could have faced it.” And you’ll just smile that wise smile, the smile of the learned who has faced that frustration before and learned to overcome.

David Gomm started building stained glass windows professionally back in 1983 and has become an expert at many aspects of stained glass building, design and repair. He writes a monthly newsletter at http://www.betterstainedglass.com He also has a website with many other articles at http://www.gommstudios.com.

For us, holidays were a bad memory. This time in our life became
something that held you back from doing things like other kids.
They didn’t face the turmoil you were going through.

I remember it to this day. Coming up from the lower floor of
the house, I notice mom running down the stairs to the same
floor I was headed. My sister was not noticeable around then,
being in her room. “Their coming to get us”. Mom said, her voice
trembling and the look of fear in her face. “Who”? I asked, not
knowing what to do. “The police, their coming to get us”…Again
her voice trembled and mom running back up the stairs she came
from and into her room. I was terrified. Mom was the same way.
That day rings loud and clear for me. My heart sinks as I
realize today, mom was suffering from a mental breakdown. My
mother was gone. Yes, she was there in the physical being, but
departed mentally.

Later dad told us it was a sickness. Mom was indeed taken, but
not by the police. She was taken to a special hospital in a
little town far from where we were. As I recall this, I try to
think about the holidays at this time. Then I shake my head,
knowing that for us, till mom got well there was no holiday.

Dad worked hard to get us ready during this time mom was gone.
We had friends who would take care of my sister while I was as
school. I would come home to their house and wait till dad came
and we would go home. Then I would cook dinner for us. The house
would be lonely with no mother to comfort or guide us. No mom to
wrap their arms around us and understand our hurts or problems.
Dad was there, but an important part of our family was not. I
cannot tell you how much this had an effect on me as a young man
growing up. I became withdrawn and passive. Not getting involved
in much of anything. I strove to help dad and my sister. Time
was the enemy, for late at night, in my bed, I knew I would face
another day without mom. As time went on, thanksgiving and
Christmas came. Certain times when dad could get off, we would
take a weekend to visit mom. The drive to go see mom was
terrible for young minds. We would sit in the backseat of the
car and drive endlessly it seemed. The hospital where mom was
seems so far. It indeed was. The trip alone was six hours or so.
Then with kids and stopping for various reasons the trip seemed
so long. We would stay in a motel in the town where mom was. At
first the visits actually meant for Dad to go inside and we kids
had to wait in the car. Then at the proper time, mom would look
out from a window with bars on them and wave at us kids. Later
on, mom would be able to come and visit with us. But that never
lasted long. She was much thinner now. Mom smiled and hugged us,
but then she was gone. Time had come; we would pack up and leave
that town which held my mother hostage. That was my holidays,
painful. The gifts, the trees meant nothing. For a short while
they would pacify my young mind and spirit. Then drifting, my
heart would sink.

During those months I would try to help my sister and dad cope.
Doing our best, we pulled together. All the while at school it
was a nightmare. No one understood me. I was harassed by other
kids. I was lonely and withdrawing more daily. I had one friend
and at times we had fun. My sister being so young I never fully
came to know how much an impact this had on her. Later on in
life, she would reveal to me the heartaches she had come to know
during this time.

After the holidays, birthdays came and went. The same thing
would go on. Drive forever and visit for a short while, then
come home. Without mom. Then one day, mom was released. The
doctors, dad said had helped mom. The time of any person’s life,
as least mine, was when mom came home.

You see, mom was sick allot during my life growing up and even
into adulthood. She faced many problems, although she did better
than most with her sickness. I have spent allot of years without
her. For me, my mother was always sick; this created a hardship
on everyone. But, for her, mom desperate fight to win this
battle would eventually take her home to be with the Lord at an
early age. Even though this battle of mom affected us all, for
me Thanksgiving and Christmas was about having her there.
Together we would celebrate and give thanks to the Lord. Without
her, it seemed a dry and distant time. Devoid of reasoning. I
have asked myself a thousand times why. In the last years of her
life, there was only one time in five years I remember that I
could hold a conversation like we use too. This talk with my mom
lasted only five to ten minutes, and then in a flash she was
gone. Her physical body was there, but she was somewhere else. I
don’t know why, tears come as I think of this. My heart still
sinks.

But, oh the joy of the holidays when mom was well. I can
remember my grandparents coming in from the farm. We would all
get together and enjoy our blessings. Pray over the food, give
thanks to the Lord and dive in. The golden turkey, the oyster
stuffing was the best, home backed rolls, and the smell of the
pies whiffed through the house. The table was set with the
finest silver mom had. The table cloth was one that had been
crocheted. A white one. Upon this went the fixings.

During this time, it seemed time stood still for a moment. I
can still see it, like a picture out of a painting. I see the
table, grandmother, mom, dad, grandpa and us kids. The house is
full of happiness. Christmas time was the same thing. Plenty of
food, goodies, presents, and the tree. Lights, tinsel, pine,
needles, and the special place below the tree. That was my
place. I would snuggle under the tree and look up from the base
of it. Peering along the tree trunk up through the branches to
the top of the tree. Along the way was bulbs glittering and
blinking. I would lay there with all the lights off in the
living room where the tree was. Then take in a big whiff of
pine, I would look up and enjoy the moment.

That was the holidays. This was the special time and moment in
anyone’s life when blessings and knowing God has been good to
you.

But, when mom was sick, this scene was not the one I had known.
During that time I cannot remember the thanksgiving or Christmas
dinner. Nor the presents or any fun. I cannot think of anything
good that went on. I don’t even remember being particularly
blessed or thinking God had been good to me. In fact, I couldn’t
believe the Lord would do that to us.

Over time, as I think back now. The Lord was good to us during
that time. I may not remember the holiday, but there was a
family. Short of one person, yes, but struggling to make it.
Just one more day, one more hour, one more dinner, one more
thanksgiving, one more Christmas, one more new year, one more
birthday. That’s right, just one more. I lived that for the
whole time mom was sick.

I thank the Lord today I had a dad that stuck with mom during
those years. I told him so. Dad looked at me and said “I stayed
with your mother all those years because of my conscience, and
that one day I would have to face the Lord”. Dad later admitted
to me that during those years mom’s sickness consumed him so
much, he put the Lord on the shelf.

Today, this family is short one member. Mom is gone. The
holidays don’t quite have that sparkle when I was a kid and mom
was there. The turkey, the table, grandma and grandpa and the
whole holiday adventure is not the same. But, we are going on.
We are very thankful to the Lord for His blessings. Times have
been tough. They are for many people today. I have two grown
children, a grandchild, and a son-in-law. I have a great wife of
32 years and my dad, well he is great. I love them all. Sure I
miss mom, but the holiday this year will be a good one. For the
Lord has seen me and my family through much. I know when we
carve that turkey this year; mom will be looking on and smiling.
She always wanted the part that “went over the fence last”…You
know what that is the tail… I will just smile back and think
Mom; this one is for you…

“3 Questions, 5 Minutes a Day: Make leaps towards greater balance in one single week with the Shicka Boom 5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual”
By Laura Lallone, Certified Life Coach

This article is dedicated to a woman that I’ve never met and probably never will. Tall with dark, dark hair, she was perfectly manicured in a tailored suit with high-heeled pumps. We shared a subway car in Manhattan two years ago. She was standing, holding onto the subway car strap and meticulously applying three coats of mascara as the train bumped and shifted. With my jaw dropped in reverence of her talent, I imagined this to be her morning routine because she was REALLY good at it. (I can barely put on clear lip gloss in a moving vehicle.)

We all have morning routines and daily repetition makes us experts at them. What’s your morning routine? Does it help to balance and center you for the day - or leave you feeling scattered?

I invite you to try a powerful five minute morning ritual to set your day off with awareness and consciousness, moving daily towards the balance and fulfillment you desire. The ritual is very simple, consisting only of three simple questions. The secret is to be honest, give yourself the 5 minutes… and to ask the questions.

Question 1: What am I grateful for?

This question holds astonishing power. If you only remember one thing from this ritual, please remember this question! Write it down and put it in at least three very visible places. Maybe you will choose your bedroom dresser, your desk or the dashboard of your car. This question has the capacity to change a mood and soften a heart in seconds.
What are you grateful for? WHO are you grateful for? What are the gifts you’ve been given in your life that you sometimes take for granted? What are some gifts that are so obvious that you may never even notice them?

Question 2: What are my intentions for today?

Where are you now and where do you want to be at the end of the day? Meaning, what do you want to accomplish today? Beyond the “doing”, how do you want to feel? How do you want to be or conduct yourself during the day?
Close your eyes and imagine your day is set on a theatrical stage. How do you want the audience to feel about you as they watch you “play”? What do you want them to notice about how you are being? How do you want to be if things don’t go as planned?
Asking yourself this one question may be the most powerful way to achieve what you want in life. After all you can’t get to where you want to be if you don’t know where that is.

Question 3: What’s most important today?

Keeping in mind your gratitude and intentions for the day, consider again all the aspects of your life: personal development, your intimate relationships, your family, friends, finances, career, health, recreation and spirituality.
Now, close your eyes and imagine yourself 10 years from now. What does the future you say is most important for you today? It’s really easy to come up with what SHOULD BE most important (as defined by society) but resist the urge to give into that voice. Take a deep breath and listen deeper. Trust that you have all the answers inside.

Some find that it helps to ask this follow-up question: What ONE THING can I do today to significantly improve the quality of my life? Don’t concern yourself with the size or magnitude of your answer. It changes. Some days it might be “apply to graduate school” and other days it might be “organize my office”.

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Helpful Tips to Make It Stick

To make this ritual “stick”, create a fertile “habit-forming” environment:

1. Fly solo. Use the five minutes as valuable alone time to ground yourself. Once this ritual is second nature, then I invite you to use these three questions in conversation with your family, significant other, and even work teams.

2. Be consistent. Select a specific time and location to perform your morning ritual. For example, lying in bed from 7:30-7:35am or on your morning commute from 8:30-8:35am.

3. Take it lightly. Have fun. Unpleasant tasks don’t become habits. The morning ritual isn’t a task. It’s a way of consciously looking out at your day. Set the intention to create a daily ritual; to create a habit. But don’t sweat it if you miss a day.

4. Start small. Stick to five minutes in the beginning. Perhaps you’ll expand to 10, 15 or 30 minutes. Maybe not. A new program quickly gets abandoned when if feels like a burden, especially in the morning!

5. Keep no secrets. Tell someone about your morning ritual and ask the friend, coach, significant other or whomever to support you in keeping on track. This might sound like, “Terry, I’ve started a morning practice to keep myself balanced and focused on what’s important during the day. It would be really helpful if you asked me how it’s going every now and then. It just really helps to have you know what I’m up to.”

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Experiment and have fun. I’d love to hear how you’ve experienced the ritual and any other morning ritual ideas that work for you!

Cheers!
Laura

© Copyright Shicka Boom Inc. 2004 unless otherwise indicated

Laura Lallone is the creator of the 5-point Shicka Boom coaching system proven effective for those who deal with high personal risk, daily pressure and uphill battles. For more information on coaching and workshops, email contact@shickaboom.com or go to http://www.shickaboom.com. Don’t forget to sign up for Sheer Balance, the ezine dedicated to greater balance for women!

As a coach, I often ask myself the question why human beings have problems. With the exception of terminal diseases, serious illnesses that are REALLY life-threatening situations and serious stuff, we do have problems for a number of reasons I will present below. But first of all, allow me, I will have to replace the word problem by “challenge” or “barrier” as used in the coaching jargon. Problems do not exist in the coaching world! However, changing the word, does not change the concept so a challenge, barrier or problem is pretty much the same thing.

Here are the four main reasons we have problems - illness excluded:

1. Unclear intentions and objectives.

In other words, confusion in our head that shows in our daily life. When we are not clear about our objectives in life, career or business, our thoughts are scattered rather than solid. Scattered thoughts do not lead to significant action taking but to stillness or mess. Example: you want to quit your job because you want to start a business. At the same time you want to take a gap year to travel the world and you also want to make more money and possibly to write a book and to loose weight. Great!

What actions will you take if you are in a similar situation as the one described above? There is so much in the mind that it is difficult to take any action. Or you will work simultaneously on so many and possibly conflicting projects and you won’t get the desired results.

Solution: Clarify your intentions. Be clear of what you want to create in your life by, first, asking your heart. What do you truly desire? An intention is something that gives you joy, enhances your creativity and also brings cash (if it is work related intention) but contributes to society at the same time. An intention is bigger than you. Pick one at the time. Focus on it, develop it, work on it. Then move to the next one. If you don’t know how to go about choosing the number one intention, use the “commitment scale” exercise. Example: I want to take a gap year to travel the world. Fine. What is your level of commitment on a scale from 1 to 10? Anything less than 6 is out of your list. You will be surprised that you actually do not have so many intentions after all!

2. Lack of reserves in all areas.

What is a reserve? “Having enough of” the dictionary defines. Scarcity has always been one of the major issues in humans. When there is not enough of, there is scarcity and as a consequence frustration. Worry and stress. Problems! What are the main areas we need to build and maintain reserves in order to be satisfied?
Here are my suggestions:

Money
Food
Heat
Time
Space
Love
Resources
Energy
Opportunity

Obviously, there are many different other areas we can build reserves as well (friends, enthusiasm etc). We can all find out our weakest areas and then work on them.

Solution: Start building reserves in all areas. From reserves of bread to reserves of love, you need them all to find happiness. Or stop worrying. Fear will disappear, you won’t have to struggle, everything will be in place and you will enjoy life more. You will have more time and more space. Things will start coming to you effortlessly and you will become attractive. Building reserves is one of the first steps of attraction

3. Resisting the present.

Resisting the present means that humans beings do not like to be in the present. For a mysterious and unexplainable reason, most of us spend more time in the past or look forward into the future. It’s an unconscious or conscious choice but in either case, creates frustration and often overwhelm. If you don’t want to be in the present, you are not grounded, you are not “here” but somewhere else. If you decided to be in the past, you spend most of your time thinking of what has happened and how difficult or easy your life has been so far. Old wounds, faces and emotions come up from the old days and you are just living in the past-world. If you have, however, decided to be in the future, you spend most of your time organizing your future plans and goals. Thinking of what is next for you. Future goals and plans are on the top of the agenda. The “what is next” question might create excitement, but it creates the “need” of a better future.

Solution: Recognize perfection in the present. It might not be ideal or desired but the present is a wonderful place to be. Being in the present, it’s a learning experience. When you can see perfection in the present, even in a very difficult situation, you are probably oriented to improve or resolve it.

And don’t forget, life happens when you make plans.

4. We want things to happen now, ASAP. Even if we don’t exactly know what they are.

Does it mean that we are not patient? Yes. Does it mean that we can’t wait? Yes. It also means that we can’t see that there is a need for preparation for everything we want to have, develop or create. Things do not happen when we want them, but when we are ready. I remember one of my first clients wanted to get a job in London and relocate from France. When she made the decision, she had one year left before her graduation from University, as a mature student. She did not have a degree as yet. Despite her effort and job applications for London jobs, she couldn’t get one. She got a job, somewhere else, a year after. It was then when she was prepared and ready.

Solution: Don’t rush. The Universe has its own time. The Universe is ready when you are.

Thei Zervaki is a career and business coach and founder of the Ditch your Resume portal (http://www.ditchyouresume.com). She coaches individuals who don’t like to edit resumes and don’t know what to do when they grow up. She also delivers fun workshops. Email her at tzervaki@ditchyouresume.com

Stumbling block # 1- Fear of seeming outlandish-
Being unique is one of the key factors of creativity and by trying to conceal your differences in order to appear “normal” you are limiting the amount of quality ideas you can generate. the best way to release your creative side is to dare to be different. There are endless possibilities so take a chance and show your differences.

Stumbling block # 2- Fear of rule breaking-
Although rules are in place for a reason sometimes breaking the rules can be beneficial to you and your employer. Most employers need knowledge workers whom they do not need to monitor every minute, so by breaking the simplest rule or finding a faster and more efficient way to do things, you are showing your employer that you are an independent and creative thinker. Now this doesn’t mean completely disregard your employee handbook or show utter disrespect for the rules, it simply means be an independent thinker and do what you think is best.

Stumbling block # 3- Fear of messing up-
We are all human and as such we are entitled to make mistakes. Forget about always trying to be right. One of the keys to being a successful manager is to learn from your mistakes as well as the mistakes of others, but how can you do that if you have nothing to learn from. Being a perfectionist is not always good. Making mistakes entitles you to gain new perspectives and there is no growth without mistakes.

Stumbling block # 4- Low self-esteem-
From time to time we tend to view ourselves in a negative light and that tends to inhibit the creative process. In order to generate creative ideas we need to believe in ourselves. If you don’t believe in your ideas how can you expect your teammates or your manager to. Remember beliefs are not always facts so just because you believe something negative about yourself doesn’t necessarily mean that it is true.

Stumbling block # 5- Backed up thinking-
When we have so many thing to do our minds get bogged down and we become too busy to think creatively. We get so wrapped up with the things we feel are drastically important that we forget to take time for ourselves to think and reflect. By allowing yourself that time to think you free up space in your mind for creativity, and who knows, you just might find a creative more efficient way to get everything done.

Stumbling block # 6- Ruts-
Ruts occur in your brain when you are in a repetitive cycle. Have you ever woke up in the morning, gotten dressed and the next thing you know your at work. You have no recollection of how you got there or even how you got in your car. that is because going to work is so imbedded in your mind that you don’t even have to think about it. Try taking an alternative route to work or do something different in the morning. this will get the creativity flowing.

Lauren Hunter is an Alumni of Johnson & Wales University. She has several years of management experience and has participated in numerous leadership courses and discussions.