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Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily involved in the implementation of a company wide coaching programme, both as an employee who was to receive coaching but also as a manager and coach who was expected to regular coach my reports and my peers to enable them to achieve their objectives. I say, fortunate enough, because I found that when I was coached effectively I became really motivated and focused, and when I finally became a proficient coach, I again found it motivational in that I was able to support and enable my direct reports to achieve more.

There were though many pitfalls along the way to achieving total acceptance of coaching as a skill that not only motivated but also enabled employees to become more capable and productive. In this short article I will outline the necessary steps I feel an organisation must take in order to ensure that they implement a coaching programme effectively. Ten years ago I feel that although we made great progress we also made some mistakes which I would encourage organisations to be aware of when deciding to go down the ‘coaching’ route.

1. Ensure coaching starts at the top and is supported by the ‘top’!

Many organisations are recognising that coaching is a skill that all managers of people and teams must possess. However, many organisations only concentrate on ensuring that 1st and perhaps 2nd line managers are trained in the skill. Suddenly middle or junior managers become skilled in coaching but never experience the power of coaching from their own senior management. In relation to ensuring that everyone who will be involved in the coaching programme ‘buys –in’ to the coaching philosophy they need to hear that the ‘top’ executives are committed to coaching both in terms of promoting the skill but also to be seen to utilise the skill themselves in that they are coached and that they coach their own direct reports. In other words everybody has to ‘walk the talk’.

In my last organisation before going self-employed this was not the case. A few senior members of the Board and a couple of key HR personnel promoted the skill of coaching well and ‘practiced what they preached’. Unfortunately some very senior managers did not and continued to use very directive behaviours towards their staff whilst communicating that coaching was a ‘fad’ that would soon pass! This caused confusion at middle management levels with the result that a number of managers did not take their coaching training very seriously. Fortunately other managers did and their teams eventually experienced the benefit.

2. Will everybody understand what coaching is and what it can do them?

This was one of the first hurdles that we had to overcome. Simply, people did not understand why the organisation was implementing such a programme and also
people did not fully understand what coaching was exactly. Some believed it was training and that all it meant was that you told people what to do and showed them how to do it. After all that was what their sports coach did! Others thought it was more about counselling and you only used coaching when there was a deep problem causing under-performance. All in all not everyone had a good understanding of what coaching was and how it differed from the likes of training, mentoring and counselling. Also many people because they had not been exposed to effective coaching had no experience or idea of why coaching could be a benefit for them; either as the coach or as someone being coached. Before employees can move on and take part in a coaching programme they must be 1005 aware of what the skill of coaching entails and what it can do for them.

3. Those who are going to act as coaches must be trained effectively.

Most companies will take on the services of a training provider or consultant to support them to implement the coaching programme. Beware. Make sure you do your homework! There are numerous coaching schools, training companies and consultancies who now offer ‘coach training’. Some will be excellent; some not so hot. We had some major problems with the group that we used in that not all their trainers/coaches had the necessary skill and experience with the result that not everyone in the organisation received the same quality of training and coaching. I was extremely lucky in that I had an excellent coach who was also a fantastic trainer.

What should you look for when selecting a coaching training company or consultancy?

The most important thing to look for in selecting a provider company is to ensure that you are comfortable that you can form a powerful and productive partnership with them. There are a number of questions you should be asking in order to ascertain this.

• What is their experience of supporting coaching programmes? (Years of experience, types of situations, companies worked with, references)

• What is the experience of the individual consultants? Business backgrounds? Coaching experience? Coaching Qualifications? Any experts within the ranks? (There are a lot of ‘life coaches’ now offering corporate manager-coach training and many do not come from a corporate background. Although this does not mean they won’t be good coaches, it may mean that their credibility in the eyes of the trainees/coachees might not be all it could be, and this could present problems)

• What coaching models does the provider use? Do they stick to one model or are they able to utilise a number of coaching models which they can fit to the purchasing company?

• How flexible is the provider? It is all very well putting together a coaching programme to satisfy an initial proposal but are they able to flex this programme as befits the needs of the organisation as they go through the programme? Flexibility is key in any coaching programme as not everything will go to plan and not everybody will progress at the same pace!

• Does the provider offer variety of interventions within the programme? A good provider will ensure that the programme is varied with it being a mix of classroom theory, role-play and other experiential practices together with assignments, action plans, review days not forgetting 1:1, group and telephone coaching support.

• Are they prepared to ensure that they measure their success and agree with you what exactly success looks like? If they are not then forget them!

• Are they affordable? Some companies and consultancies charge very high rates and deliver excellence and are value for money. Some are the opposite and some charge very reasonable rates and are also excellent. The main point is that you should also do your sums and make sure you can afford the programme because it could last a fairly long time, particularly if you are a large organisation.

Coach training takes time and although there are some very good two –three day courses available the real secret to establishing and reinforcing coaching skills is to ensure that once the basic theory is learned, these skills are immediately put into practice. A good coach training provider will always offer follow up support either in the form of review days, 1:1 coaching, group coaching (action learning sets) and telephone coaching support. Having said all this in many instances it will depend on the budget available but whatever the situation please ensure that you do your homework on the outfits that you have singled out in your tendering process. If your managers and coaches do not get the required and proper training then the whole coaching programme could collapse before your very eyes.

4. Ensure that those who are doing the coaching have some form of measure.

Firstly it was my experience that although everyone went through the coach training not everyone was prepared to go away and start coaching! Reasons for this were varied. Some cited too much pressure of work and not enough time; others simply outlined that they didn’t believe coaching would work for their reports; some stated that they were already coaching, whilst others decided that they needed to coach more because they now believed that this was the way to motivated and up skill their staff. The end result was that although some managers had a strong motivator to coach, others did not. How did we get round this challenge? Well we got half way there, in that in every manager’s measures of performance there was an objective around how much time would have to be spent on a one to one basis with individuals in their teams. This at least got people to make sure they put time in their diaries in order for this to happen. However this was only half the battle as it was no guarantee that within this dedicated time, the manager would actually do any coaching! What I believe should have happened (and what I now believe is happening) is that the manager on a regular basis now asks for feedback on their coaching skills from the people they are coaching. Each coachee will have a list of the competencies and behaviours that an excellent coach should exhibit and every so often the manager will ask the coachee for feedback on these. Only by taking both the objectives and feedback approach will you ensure that coaching is taken seriously.

5. Regularly review progress against agreed measurement and success criteria.

Finally the success of the coaching programme overall should be measured. As with any training intervention it is not always that easy to measure how successful the intervention has been. Sure, the feedback following the course was great and the trainer/coach was superb, but did any lasting change happen and did this result in improved behaviours and subsequent improvement in productivity?

Organisations should look to both qualitative and quantitative measures where possible. Qualitative measures include written feedback about how the coachee or employee feels about the coaching – do they feel more focused, more motivated, has morale improved, do they look forward to their coaching sessions etc. Qualitative measures though do not always satisfy senior management who, in many respects, do not respect ‘happy sheet’ feedback. What they want is hard evidence based on data and results. If they do not get this then suspicion about how effective the interventions often occurs and future investment in such ‘soft skill’ ventures can be difficult to access.

Where possible if you are looking to demonstrate a return on the investment then you should look to measuring outputs such as sales or production; look at sickness rates, employee retention rates together with improvements in individual competency ratings where possible. We were constantly being pressured and challenged to prove a return on the huge investment that the company had made and although we struggled in the early days to prove that coaching worked we eventually gathered together enough quantitative data to prove our case.

In Summary, in order to support your organisation to successfully implement a coaching programme at all levels the do the following:

1. Get ‘Buy-In’ from the top and ensure they are committed to the skill of coaching and that they lead by example. Others will follow.

2. Make sure everyone involved understands why coaching is being implemented, what coaching is and how they as individuals will benefit’ not only as a coach but as someone being coached.

3. Choose your coach training providers very carefully. Are they experienced coaches? Can they train effectively? Do they have a list of satisfied clients? Do they provide ongoing follow-up support?

4. Are there enough motivators in place for managers to coach? Is coaching part of their specific objectives and are they being measured on these objectives? Are they asking for feedback on their skills?

5. Make sure you put both qualitative and quantitative measures in place and that you review these regularly, always remembering to communicate these to senior stakeholders.

Another important point is that all this takes time. If you think you can implement a coaching programme in a matter of weeks then think again. You will need time to get the support of senior management; time to put a training plan together and then time to implement that training plan. Then there should be a re-inforcement and sustainability period when the newly found skills are being implemented and developed through feedback. Time should also be put aside to ensure feedback is collected and measurement against the success criteria is monitored and communicated. Give at least six months to a year for your implementation and then be prepared to continually assess and develop the skills on an ongoing basis.

Coaching programmes are lengthy and can be exhausting given the continual training, monitoring and influencing of stakeholders, but ultimately they are very worthwhile as the organisation and its people grow as a result.

About the submitter:

Allan Mackintosh is a Performance Management Coach with team development specialists, Reivers Development. He is an accomplished speaker and author of ‘The Successful Coaching Manager’ (Troubador Press). He is also the creator of the coaching models OUTCOMES® and CARERS™.

He can be contacted at 01292 318152 or e-mail: allan@reivers-dev.com He has his own personal website at http://www.pmcscotland.com

A positive attitude may bring good health and success. If you have ever read any book about success you will discover how an optimistic attitude will keep you healthier and tremendously increase your chances of success.

An optimistic attitude has dramatically helped me improve my life in every single area. I overcame severe scalp psoriasis without a doctor and prescriptions. It’s a fact that I wound not have overcome my psoriasis without a positive mental outlook. But you may be a skeptic. I know that I was most of my life. After all, if it were that easy why isn’t everyone choosing to be optimistic and then reaping the rewards?

Don’t take my word for it. Check out these facts:

“The journal Psychosomatic Medicine published results of a study showing that optimistic men had less than half the risk of heart disease than pessimistic men.”. To read the rest of this article go to http://www.drweil.com/u/QA/QA326513/

“According to the premier health and wellness experts at Healthwise Inc., the substances that your brain produces depend in part on your thoughts, feelings, and expectations. If your attitude about an illness (or life in general) is negative and you don’t have expectations that your condition will get better, your brain may not produce enough of the substances your body needs to heal.” To read more go to http://www.vibe-life.com/nutrition.html

“Chris Peterson was teaching a class in abnormal psychology at Virginia Tech when he told his students to fill out an Attributional Style Questionnaire - a carefully designed test that determines a person’s level of optimism and pessimism. The students also answered questions about their general health, including how often they went to a doctor.

Peterson followed the health of his students the following year and discovered that the pessimists had twice as many infectious diseases and made twice as many trips to the doctor as the optimists. Later, Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania and two of his colleagues, using interviews and blood tests, found that optimists have better immune activity than pessimists.” To read more go to http://www.thisisawar.com/HealthOptimism.htm

Would you agree that it’s not easy to stay optimistic?
All of us have been to a church service, sales seminar, or a motivational seminar that excited us for a short while. Then the reality of credit card bills, murders, company layoff’s, and terrorism would bring you down just as easily as you were pumped up. So what can you do?

Step 1 - DECIDE that despite all obstacles you will CHOOSE to be optimistic.

Almost nobody chooses or decides to be optimistic. The decision is half the battle.

Let’s take for example, the idea of dealing with relationships and people. If you choose to see others as loving, emotional people who all want to be loved you will find no reason to get jealous, or develop hatred because someone is different or “better” than you. I choose to look at all people in a loving way and it has allowed me to have no fear of anyone, helped my ability to work others and develop relationships.

Now I could have chosen to think all people were selfish, greedy, and found ways to hate others just as easily. But can you think of one good thing that would ever come out of hating another human being?

Step 2 - Learn what other successful people have done.

Read stories about how others have persevered in circumstances much worse than many of have ever seen. After you read enough you will realize that if they can do it you can too.

I also recommend reading about topics you are interested. Specialized topics like improving leadership skills, creating a mail order business, how to be a better parent, or anything. By learning more ways that things can be done your confidence will rise immensely.

Step 3 - Take ACTION by asking yourself “how can I improve my life”.

If you take no action you will get no results - period. Action can be as simple as a single thought. Start thinking about what you’ve always dreamed about doing but never tried or thought possible. Start asking yourself how it can be accomplished and constantly think of possible solutions.

Don’t kid yourself, most of us aren’t successful because we have not asked “how can I do this” enough times and have not made a decision to take action. If you ask yourself how over and over you will come up with a solution. That is the technique I used to overcome psoriasis. I asked myself at least 50,000 times “how can I beat this disease which controls my life?” and I came up with many ideas. Most did not work but I eventually found a combination that changed my life forever.

Don’t get caught up in super-human efforts but rather look for smaller, incremental improvements that you can do day after day. Action is the key that will increase your confidence.

Does this seem too simple? It should because it’s very simple. However, the difficult thing is making the decision to have the discipline to persevere. Take is from Lance Armstrong:

“To win the Tour I had to be willing to ride when no one else would ride.”

Michael Hrenko is the founder of ePsoriasis, LLC. The company specializes in teaching how he and others have overcome psoriasis and eczema without a doctor, prescriptions, expensive treatments, and difficult fasting diets. Claim your free copy of The Lazy Person’s Guide to Beating Psoriasis at http://www.epsoriasis.net/promotion.htm as a one-time-only promotion.

(c) Copyright 2005, ePsoriasis, LLC

Being human can really be challenging, to say the least. We feel emotions with every breath we take, every move we make. Some emotions are so sweet that we never want to lose that feeling. Other emotions cause us so much anger and hurt that we are paralyzed with pain.

Our minds use anger as a memory of a hurt that we have experienced. The memory is usually due to the fact that we neglected to express our hurt at the time for one reason or another. We tend to not show our anger or hurt because we do not want to cause a conflict or hurt another’s feelings or ever admit those feelings. We also hang onto it because once we actually show we are angered, we are showing we are not perfect and that in fact we are human and can feel pain.

But if we continue to push away our feelings to protect our perfect selves, we become less real and less connected to people in our lives, without even realizing how far we are pushing them away.

Protecting another person from our hurts or anger is only imprisoning ourselves, so that they will never be able to reach us. If we do this long enough we cannot find happiness anywhere. When we are questioned why we are upset, we can not even find the beginning to the hurt we have hidden. The longer we hide our hurts and anger the more confusing they become. Things get all tangled up and if we dare try to explain, we are totally speaking another language.

Have you ever been hurt by someone and then they make it impossible for you to explain why you are angered? Those people can do a lot of damage, they are controllers. When you can identify that type of person, only then can you fight back and tell them, “please just shut up and listen”. If you want to be unhappy then keep hanging onto that hurt. It will definitely drag your self-esteem to the bottom.

Hurt is a pain of the moment and it is happening right now. Its reason is right there in front of you. You must deal with it or you will only hide it and end up alone in your prison of loneliness. The longer you hold back, the more angry you become with you, for not acting out. That’s when guilt moves right on in and takes over, making you want to get even with that person. Your negative thoughts are seeded now and nothing feels good. Is this a good thing? NOT!!!

It is definitely not easy to risk being called oversensitive, or told that you are just causing a fight, or they just laugh you off like you are a child. You may even find that this person doesn`t really care about you. Better to find that out asap, don`t you think?

These FEELINGS of hurt and anger have a way of taking over our lives. Is it not better to let it out now than to live in an unhappy life of silence? Tell someone how you feel, when you feel it, or you will only lock those FEELINGS up inside you and trust me, you will lose yourself.

You may even hurt the one you love, but honesty is the best way. I believe that with a true love you should be able to tell that person anything and yes even if you feel hurt or angered by them.

Love conquers anger and hurt. It battles jealousy and helps lift you to a higher self-esteem!

To be truly happy and not endure the prisons of negative emotions, we need to be heard. We need to be understood. We need to be forgiven. We also need to be loved and cared for.

And my sweet readers, on that note, I will leave you with another tip to strengthen

your courage to keep climbing that mountain to a better you!

Take responsibility for your life.

You have the power to make things better.

And most importantly, you have a choice!

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Ouch! Whether it’s feedback we’ve asked for, an unsolicited remark called out from the audience or a simple “no” result of an audition or submission process, criticism and rejection are a huge part of our lives as creative artists.

Sometimes we’re so fearful of being criticized or rejected that we keep our creativity bottled up and don’t let it out. This article features 10 tools for dealing with criticism and rejection.

Other times we constantly adapt what we create, focusing only on the “market” and what they seem to be liking or disliking this week. Then we end up feeling like we’re not truly expressing our creative impulses.

10 Tools for Dealing with Criticism and Rejection

1. Be Open. You may be hoping for a specific reaction or response to your work, or a specific result of an audition, gallery submission, performance or contest entry. If you’ve done your best and you’re rejected or criticized, you might feel that you’ve “failed”, and it’s probably hard to see anything positive about the situation. Try to be open to the possibility that this “failure” is actually leading you to something else, usually better than what you thought you wanted. As I read once in Cheryl Richardson’s newsletter, “Any rejection is God’s protection”.

2. Be Consistent. Keep going, doing the little things every day that keep you creative and that keep you connected to other artists and to your customers. The dramatic moments and big wins and losses will come and go. Have a steady routine you can keep coming back to, and this will help to place any criticism or rejection into perspective. Today is a new day, another day you get to be an artist.

3. Be Focused. Keep your end goal in mind, and always be mindful of why you’re doing what you’re doing. That will help you focus on the big picture and not get tripped up by each bump in the road along the way.

4. Be Resilient. Remember that your sense of self-worth comes from inside of you. When you’re able to be confident in yourself regardless of the feedback you get from external sources, you’re able to bounce back much more easily from any negative feedback that you may get.

5. Be Positive. Focus your attention on the positive and you’ll attract more of it. This is the premise of the “law of attraction”, and I’ve certainly seen it work in my own life. Hear the positive feedback you receive and replay it over in your mind whenever you need to.

6. Be Clear. Approach constructive feedback with an accurate perspective, not muddled with thoughts from your own inner critic. Take it as a helpful tool for your own growth and remember that ultimately the only opinion that matters is your own – because you need to be happy with what you’re producing.

7. Be Grateful. Be gracious to your critics, accept all of the feedback you receive, sit quietly and let it sink in. Be grateful to be actively creating – to have gotten past the fear and other roadblocks. Be grateful for the opportunity to have your work seen and heard. Some never get the chance.

8. Be Responsive. Decide consciously what to do with feedback before responding, instead of reacting with the first thought or words that come to mind.

9. Be Selective. Once you’ve decided what to do the feedback you’ve received, be selective and willing to let go of the hurtful feedback. This usually doesn’t have anything to do with you anyway; it’s a reflection of that person’s own happiness, state of mind and comfort with themselves.

10. Be Loving. Be loving of your critic and ESPECIALLY of yourself. Plan some self-care treats for the day of the audition or submission. Regardless of the outcome, you deserve it!

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

© Linda Dessau, 2005

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. Feel like your creativity is blocked? Sign-up for your complimentary copy of the popular e-course, “Roadblocks to Creativity” by visiting http://www.genuinecoaching.com

Have you had the above reaction to your coaching services yet? If you have, do not take it personally - it is perfectly understandable. There are just so many coaches out there at the moment. For example…

Did you know that there are well over 6,000 trained coaches (admittedly to varying standards) in the UK at the moment? Oh, and this does not include the other pseudo-coaches who have decided to hang out their shingle and join the coaching bandwagon.

So what does this mean to you?

Well, you need to find a way to differentiate what you are offering contrasted to the other coaches promoting their coaching services at the moment. You need to give people a reason to choose you over the rest. Are you?

I’m a big fan of niching and have seen the difference it can make to how effectively you attract clients into your coaching practice. So - think niche.

This is all well and good but some coaches can find it a challenge to identify their niche in the first place - particularly if they have little experience working with real clients. Even some more experienced coaches can find it hard to decide on their niche too.

So what can you do?

Well, recently I’ve found what I believe is a neat approach to identifying a niche market. What’s more, it’s not provided by me either. It’s just too good an idea not to let you know about it - I feel that I owe that to you. What is it?

Recently, I’ve discovered a number of coaches who focus on working with clients only in the niche of career coaching.

Here are a number of advantages I see to their approach:

1. Popular Niche — The niche of career coaching is a popular one with demand too. In fact career coaching one of the most requested types of coaching as career is such a fundamental part of life. So you know there’s demand there right?

Now as it’s a popular niche there is also plenty of competition there too - so the right approach is essential.

2. Wide Niche — The niche of career coaching is sufficiently wide to allow scope for narrowing down further, if you choose to do so. Some coaches resist a niche because they don’t want to narrow down their options too soon.

This approach allows you to use a wide niche to attract clients and learn what type of clients you get the best results with. You can then use this learning to refine your niche and further differentiate your practice later if you choose to do so.

3. Common Language — The niche of career coaching allows you to focus on talking with potential clients in everyday language of careers rather than the less common parlance of coaching.

I do hope that you found this article useful and that it has got you thinking about the benefits of niching your practice in the area of career coaching.

© 2006 Shaun O’Reilly, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from this article in whole or in part, as long as you include complete attribution and include a live web site link.

Shaun O’Reilly works exclusively with coaches to help them to build successful coaching practices. He is also the author of The 5 Biggest Mistakes Coaches Make in Marketing and How You Can Avoid Them. To get your free copy just go to:

http://www.authenticpractice.com/

For a recent article in a European music magazine, I was asked what drives me to compose music.

It’s a great question. What drives any of us to explore and develop our gifts. Have you ever wondered where this urge to express yourself comes from?

My answer to the question was “I am just compelled to compose music. I feel that the true voice of God in us is the compulsion to create. The mysteries of life are revealed in those quiet moments.”

What I realize now is that this compulsion to create extends far beyond the artist’s domain. This ability and compulsion is present in all of us at any moment.

I am creating my life Right Now by the thoughts I am putting down in this article. I am creating my life by deciding what I want to do at any given moment.

So, my drive to compose music reflects my urge to express the mystery of life as best I can at any given moment. Same goes for which book I choose to read, what activities I do with my family, which foods I choose to eat, what time I good to bed at night, and so on.

How I choose to do these things matters as much as what I do. For example, gratitude for my meals is shown by allowing the experience of eating to be slow and quiet. This means, no reading, watching, listening to music or news.

Really, what it all comes down to, is seeing your life as sacred. It’s easy for us to see certain things outside of ourselves as being sacred, but few of us treat our own life as the miracle that it is.

What treasures await those of you who continuously, fearlessly step into the unknown.

You find more inner resources than you’d ever imagined. You discover treasure after treasure of creative reserves. Too innumerable because they are infinite. Each discovery opens the gateway to the next. There is no end to this treasure hunt.

These gifts of creativity are more precious than anything in the world. Because their exploration and activation brings you the peace and prosperity you were looking for since you were a child.

Embark on your treasure hunt every day. No matter what you are doing at any moment, access your creative mind. Give it a reason to churn out its magic. Honor the creator that you are. Give your mind the wise sustenance it craves.

How lucky we all are. How blessed I am to have the ability to create each and every day. How grateful I am for the opportunity to create the life of my dreams.

Here’s to your creativity and wealth.

Tania Gabrielle French is a composer who has enjoyed performances and radio broadcasts of her music worldwide. Her new CD “Renewal” (released January, 2006) will feature a rejuvenating fusion of new age, classical, and world songs.
Subscribe to her popular newsletter at http://www.prosperousartist.com

© 2006 Tania Gabrielle French. All Rights Reserved.

Can finding a stray rubber band flood a person’s heart with warmth and joy? Yes! Especially if you are participating in a rubber band collection contest with childhood friends. Long ago, a friend challenged me to compete in such an event. I said yes and vowed to win. I frequently rode on my bike to search neighborhood driveways and streets for rubber bands. I proudly added the ones I found to the growing collection that I kept on the handlebars of my bike. Whenever I spotted a rubber band, I felt like shouting, jumping up and down and telling the world that I had found another one. I was sure I would be the winner of the competition.

When I first laid eyes on the boy who showed off the rubber bands that completely filled both sides of the handlebars on his bike, I was certain that he had cheated. It was a disappointing loss. A few days later, the same boy admitted that his father bought the rubber bands for him. Even though nobody won the contest, I decided that I was a winner because I learned how powerful it was to be fully present to the happiness I experienced each time I found a rubber band.

The impact of the joy I felt upon finding those small treasures in those early days remains with me. Even now, when I go on my morning walks, I occasionally notice that I still have an eye open for stray rubber bands. Why? In my mind, rubber bands still equal happiness!

Happiness comes to us in all shapes and sizes and sometimes in the strangest ways. How often do you notice the moments when you experience happiness? What would bring more happiness into your life?

Here are a few avenues that can lead you toward greater happiness.

1. Simply notice when you are happy. Take time out to check in with yourself and notice your blissful moments. It is likely that you are surrounded by more happiness than you realize. As you become more aware of your happy moments, you will be more in touch with the uplifting energy that is in your life.

2. Pay attention to circumstances that make you smile or laugh. Once you know what makes you glow, you can create those circumstances more often. I often laugh when I am engaged in conversation with friends. This tells me that connecting with others is one of my pathways toward happiness.

3. Here is a tip that is suggested in Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Practice gratitude by keeping a gratitude journal. List five things you are grateful for every day. Put more attention on what is good and abundant in your life and watch it grow!

4. Let your inner child play. Connect with that part of yourself that still adores play and fun. Allow yourself a little silly time. Let that little person in you lead the way for a couple of hours and see where he or she takes you. If only for a short while, revisiting the energy of childlike, carefree behavior can be very uplifting. My next play date is going to be a trip to the roller skating rink!

5. Create an uplifting environment for yourself. Turn the place you live into a sanctuary by filling it with things you adore. As your eyes wander around your home, you will be embraced by the love that has been created by cherished items you look upon. If you see something that doesn’t feed your soul, consider passing it on to someone who might be better served by its presence.

(c) 2006 Beverly Keaton Smith

Beverly Keaton Smith, CPCC owns and operates Embrace Your Gifts and Soar! She is a certified life coach who offers individual
life coaching, group coaching, workshops, classes and retreats to women who are ready to discover and embrace their unique gifts so they can live more athentically and joyfully. To learn more, see http://www.embraceyourgifts.com

The underground train in London can get you anywhere when you know how to maneuver all the options. Like our subways, London under ground is a busy place. When your train arrives and comes to a stop, you move forward with the crowd, waiting for your turn to get on the train. A man’s voice drones from overhead, warning you over and over: “Mind the gap. . . mind the gap.”

There is a crack of about 4 – 8 inches between the platform and the train, where any number of things could fall through. You could lose anything in it: a shoe, a foot, change, a purse could fall into that gap and never be seen again. There is also a small difference in height that could trip you up, so you may need to step up or down a bit as the train will probably not be level with the platform. So every few seconds, once the train arrives, the kind gentleman reminds you to pay attention to that gap. And you do because he sounds so arresting and credible.

Mind your gap Managers need to be reminded to mind the gap, too. We need to develop staff who know how to handle all those situations that fall between the cracks. When not minded, these gaps can cause people to falter or cause any number of losses. Today’s workers handle more unpredictable situations than ever. The solutions for most of these are not outlined in a policy manual. Those that are, usually occur so far away from the manual that it’s not handy anyway. So we need staff who can figure out how to respond to anything.

Internal policies >>> gap <<< External regs

Policies teach staff the internal rules and external regulations, but neither of these address events that are unexpected or unexplained. Our gap to mind then is the space between internal and external expectations where anything can happen, and often does.

How do we prepare staff for minding the gap? By becoming a good coach, like the recorded voice. The good coach makes sure that staff know 1) the philosophy, why? 2) the information, what? and 3) the structure, how? of every task, every form, and every procedure. When they understand the Why, What and How about all facets of the organization, and of their job, staff will be more likely to be able to fill in the gaps that inevitably will arise. Because in this fast-moving business world of today, we have more unexpected, unthinkable, and unexpected events than ever, as we work in a world that is unpredictable. So. . . mind the gap!

Learn more about the three roles of a successful coach, and get the free E-Tools News at, http://www.thenewsupervisor.com

About The Author

Linda LaPointe, MRA, is the author of the book, The New Supervisor, in which she describes how to develop self-managed staff to increase loyalty and decrease stress in the workplace. Email her at lapointell@yahoo.com

I’ve made an interesting discovery. Perhaps, more of an observation and “Ah-ha!” moment. We may all have more than one “soul mate” in our lives. We may, in fact, have many.

What is a “soul mate”?

A soul mate is someone with whom you discover a “connection”, a kind of interpersonal closeness. Someone with whom you feel particularly comfortable. Someone with whom you can talk openly and freely without concern of judgment or reprisal.

Someone with whom you are incredibly at ease, even in total silence.

Soul mates are found more frequently after one has been married or deeply committed to another individual. This is because we are no longer trying to impress someone with our over abundance of intelligence or skill. We return to just being “ourselves”.

And a true soul mate is not in competition with your spouse or “significant other”. They are a true friend, not a new bed time companion. Sex is for partner support and mutual renewal. It is not a confirmation factor of soul mates.

Soul mates just seem to find each other. They aren’t really out there looking, but find each other, just the same.

Soul mates come in all sizes, ages, colors and genders. There are no real restrictions or requirements. The discovery of a soul mate is a feeling in the heart, usually upon the first meeting. Kind of like “love at first sight”.

And love it is.

Soul mates do fall in love with each other, in a non-sexual way. They find an extraordinary respect and appreciation for one another in various aspects of life: talents, thoughts, dreams, ideals, and advice.

Soul mates are few and far between, and we need to remember that they are a special breed of intimate friend. They are not a “lover”.

Crossing the line, adding the dimension of sexuality, changes the relationship, and usually can not be reversed.

It is true that the best spouse/significant other relationships begin as soul mates. But don’t get caught up in the self-destructive trap of soul mate hopping for “greener grass”. It won’t happen and you will end up frustrated, unhappy, and your true soul mates will disappear. Your judgment will become clouded and it may be a long time before you discover another true soul mate.

“Allow” relationships to happen, naturally. Realize you can fall in love over and over again. But leave sexuality with your chosen spouse or significant other.

Enjoy the relationship being a soul mate has to offer. There can be intimacy of heart and mind without physical sexuality. Soul mates are a rare, wonderful, fulfilling experience. Treasure and protect these unique relationships!

Bob Curtis has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology, and has been writing about the elements of relationships for a number of years. He is the manager of the Essential Sunshine Association, a new website for positive relationship development at http://www.essun.blogspot.com

Do you have a self-development toolbox? Do you have a standard set of instruments or mechanisms that you use to delve into your inner self? Just asking yourself those questions makes you think, doesn’t it? That is because questioning is the most powerful tool in your self-development toolbox. When we start on the self-development path it is usually because we have asked ourselves a question: who am I, what is it I want, why am I in this position, when can I change, where will this happen and how can I make it happen? Questions can be about us or about others and are used as identifiers. Who do I want to be? Who is standing in the way? Who will support me in this? Who can provide information?

We bring clarity to our quest by asking What. What is standing in the way of resolving this issue? What can I do about this? What is my next step?” Answering the What questions moves us another step forward on the path to change.

If you have ever been in the presence of a three year old for any length of time, you know that their favorite word is Why. The Why question brings them new information and helps them to understand the workings of a world that is new to them. It can be the same for us in the self-development process. Why do I feel this way? Why do I react like that? Why does this seem hard? Why can’t I get motivated?

To take action we need to ask the When question. When will I start? When will this happen? The answers to When questions create timetables and guidelines to follow. When putting a roast into the oven we need to know when it will be cooked. Knowing when the roast will be done moves us to have the table set and the vegetables cooked at the appropriate time. When questions motivate.

Where do we want our self-development quest to take us? If we don’t know where we want to go we will surely have a hard time getting there. And, if we don’t know where we have been how will we know where we want to go. Where questions raise our awareness. Where do I want to be one year from now…five years from now?

Once we know who, what, why, when, and where we need to know how. How can I accomplish this? How should I start? How will I feel when I am there? How questions help us to create a plan for action.

Trial lawyers always say, “Never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.” It is exactly the opposite in the self-development process. Queries you don’t know the answer to are the ones that will bring you the most new information about who you are, where you are and who and where you want to be in the future. Questions can stimulate a deep thought process and can bring us to places of discovery and revelation we wouldn’t otherwise reach.
If you want to: make a change, find a solution, clarify your thinking, identify a goal or learn more about the real you, just delve into your toolbox and pull out the questioning tool. It works every time!

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com

Authors Note:
Feel free to use this article for your web-site or e-zine as long as it remains unaltered (including the “about the author” info), and you send a copy of your reprint to beth@newfocuscoaching.com.